[Linux-Biella] The Microsoft Telescope (riportata da D.Bianchi in it.comp.os.linux.sys)

[Andrea Ferraris]

Direttamente da alt.sysadmin.recovery:
The Microsoft Telescope


Redmond will come out with Microsoft Telescope (tm),  
which not only has the resolution of a pair of dime-store binoculars, but 
also serves as an e-mail client, office suite, and ISP service. All of 
which will suck, but that's ok because MS Telescope will default to 
targeting black-holes.

Maintenance will consist of removing the lenses, smashing them with a 
hammer, gluing them back together, and putting them back in. Sometimes, 
MS Telescope will do this for you.

MS Telescope will occasionally focus light so intensely that it causes 
temporary or permanant blindness. Users will accept this as normal.

MS Telescope will only be able to view 10% of the sky. This isn't a 
problem with MS Telescope - the sky has a compatibility issue.

You'll have to product-activate MS Telescope. Upgrading lenses or 
replacing the film in your camera will require you to re-license.

There will be a slight issue with MS Telescope's robotic mount that 
causes it to occasionally whip the telescope around at high speed and rap 
you right in the happysacks. This will be fixed in MS Telescope 
Professional, where the happysack-rapping will be controlled by a) the 
Administrator of the telescope and b) WM.Happysack.A.

Some guy in Scandinavia will come up with a new type of telescope which 
can be used by hundreds of people at once because it has hundreds of 
lenses which can be added or removed at the will of the telescope's 
owner, has the most stable and accurate robotic mount in the industry, is 
completely immune to WM.Happysack.A and all the other telescope-viruses 
in the world, and has a resolution that kicks the crap out of the Hubble. 
It will browse the sky, help you write astronomy documents, and send e-
mail with excellent reliability. It will even talk to MS Telescopes, if 
you have a Telescope Message Block (TaMBa) installed. The guy who made it 
will give any number of telescopes to anyone who asks for them. However, 
it'll take the world 10 years before they realize that this guy's 
telescope is the one they should be using.

-- 
Adam the Tired

"Every time I look at my speedometer, I get lost!"
-Heisenberg's Automotive Lament


Davide

-- 
| If you keep anything long enough, you can throw it away. 
| 
| 
|